Upstream/Downstream: The Golden Rule of Connection
“Do unto those downstream as you would have those upstream do unto you.” Wendell Berry
This re-framing of the Golden Rule penned by writer Wendell Berry addresses the practical issues created within watersheds. Its straightforward practicality makes it difficult to ignore or argue otherwise. Yet the concept is an apt metaphor for many other aspects of living than just stream management.
When applied within personal relationships, the directive easily morphs back into the more general framework of the Golden Rule. Yet if one insists in continuing the “downstream” and “upstream” visualization, the instruction seems more specific than “doing unto others”, and implies the more Karmic saying that, “What goes around, comes around.” If I want good things to come (from “upstream”) to me, I should send good things to the people around me (“downstream”).
If I give what I would like to receive, I am increasing the odds of receiving that which I desire. I increase the odds of being trusted if I behave in trustworthy ways. I am more likely to be loved if I am loving toward others. I will more frequently feel connection with others if I offer connection.
In the cycles within a watershed of which Wendell Berry refers, the overall health of the stream is improved as soon as any one part of the cycle becomes healthier. Because all aspects of the system are affected with change to any part, improvements occur in the overall system if positive changes are made to what one sends downstream.
If our inner world and our connections to others are similar to watersheds, every act of kindness, each choice (whether conscious or unconscious) impacts all the beings in the system.
It is common in personal growth work to encourage the use of “affirmations”--to post notes affirming one’s goodness, or even one’s magnificence-- in conspicuous places throughout one’s home. By “cleaning up” the upstream images and beliefs we carry of ourselves, it seems logical that the output, those things that emanate downstream from our being, will also likely be of higher quality.
What if we also worked on the downstream messages? Notes that remind, “My neighbor is magnificent.”? Or a note on my refrigerator stating, “My coworkers are smart and talented people.”? Even more powerfully, what if I behaved towards my neighbor as if they are magnificent human beings? And if I connected with my co-workers in ways that affirm their talents and intelligence? If I began treating my children or spouse with love and admiration, is it possible I would begin to receive love and admiration from them--or more powerfully, that I begin to treat myself with love and admiration?
Behaving towards those downstream in ways we wish to be treated creates healthy connection ecology.